By Emily Jump
(with input from Veronica Hartwig, amateur consultant and 10 year old traveler)
As with anything, learning how your family travels together best is a muscle that gets stronger as you use it. And if there’s anything worth practicing until it gets better, it’s this. My own family’s travels have been one of our best sources of stories and core memories. Even the hard parts turn into reference points for laughter (just, sometimes you might need to give it a few weeks!).
With nearly a decade of working with families with kids (and grandkids) of all ages, here are a few insights I’d like to share (with a caveat that obviously, you know your own family best!) Feel free to take what you like here, and leave behind what you know won’t work for you!
Involve your kids in planning (but make sure you include what excites you about a destination too). Talk about where you’re headed, and what you can do there. Help them pack and be sure to bring a favorite item from home. Especially for young kids, bring favorite snacks.
Go easy to start. If you traveled extensively before having kids, starting out again together can feel like a hard reset. With limited vacation time, it can be especially tempting to try to see all the things. Slowing down and doing less might not come naturally, but almost always helps. What I tell myself is that if you love a destination, you can go back and do more there next time. The best news is that as my daughter has grown, so has her endurance. Each trip builds from the last one.
An activity a day… For each day in our destination, I try to include only one main activity – one thing around which the rest of the day orbits. This might be a half or full day activity, and I alternate to make sure we get downtime.
Think about how it went the last time you had a solid week (or more) of packed days — how did that go for you at home? If the answer is not great, keep that in mind for your vacation, too. Conversely, if the answer is, FANTASTIC! We love to be busy all the time! Then, do that, but maybe just a bit less. I.e. keep in mind time zone changes, long flights, meals at wonky times, and a host of new cultural experiences might require more adjustment and reflection than you usually need at home. Your vacations might benefit from “weekend” days, too!
And on the 6th day, there was introvert-ing. For every 4 or 5 days we have something planned, we keep one day totally open. This is my family’s way of respecting each other’s needs, and making space and time for decompressing, processing what we’ve seen and done, and relaxing. My kiddo and my husband curl up in hammocks and read, draw, and most importantly, do not talk to each other or me more than they want to! Meanwhile, I go climb to the top of a lookout, or chat with someone on a park bench, or kayak across a lake for a couple of hours. We’ve all got our thing.
Space is key. There are different ways to think about how much space you will need at a lodge, camp, or hotel.
Consider that we are all together, all day long! And then, all night long! One of us snores, and 2 out of the 3 of us are introverts. They need their down time and alone time and as the odd one out, I will never totally understand how much! What I’m trying to say is that, The Ultimate Luxury for my family of 3 is having 2 interconnected rooms. You might need more, or less, or a different configuration. There’s no way to have the best trip ever if you’re having the worst sleep imaginable. Give it some thought, plan ahead, and we can help you find the right digs for your family.
Stay active. Wait, didn’t I also say take it easy? Yes, and also….
If you’re surfing the ocean, you’re not surfing the internet! Are you snorkeling? Cool, you are definitely not online. Get out on the water, into the rainforest, and just generally out of your comfort zone. There are bugs for toddlers to poke! There are birds for young photographers to snap, and the savannah is full of animals on the hunt, or just lolling around. It isn’t possible to be distracted by text messages when you are face to face with a lion (but, in a safe way, don’t worry!). Get immersed to be totally present.
Device free? Maybe….. I can’t really advocate for “device free” travel with any degree of honesty. Indeed, my family has brought an ipad on every international trip we’ve made thus far. Long flights? We shamelessly deploy the movies. There are more than a few things about which I feel “mom guilt,” but this ain’t one of them.
But, we also set boundaries for digital devices (not just for kids), bring a notepad and art supplies, several books (of the on paper and audio variety) and we agree about when the devices are off. These “rules” get bent and sometimes broken, but they remain in the background to help us set (and reset) expectations of how we spend our time, at home and away.
Food. I cannot stress this enough, Hangry is no way to travel (for adults or kids!) Snack those kids UP.
You’re going to know best how adventurous your eaters are. While it is great to try new things when traveling, it is also totally fine if this is one area where your family struggles to adapt. Dietaries are no joke, and we can help ensure everyone is well fed. Planning ahead means we can help set you up for success wherever you’re going. I can’t promise chicken nuggets in the rainforest, but we help you get creative (and find the carbs of choice!) nearly anywhere in the world.
Last but not least, let your ambitions grow with your kids. It’s a joy to see that as my daughter grows up, she’s also growing into travel. What would have been impossible at age 5 is fantastic and fun at age 10! Each adventure is a chance to build and grow, face new challenges, and see what we’re capable of next. We can help match your destination, and your activities, with what your kids can handle now, and tomorrow.
